I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
