I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
