I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
