All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
