porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
