I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm passing your future prison.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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