I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
