He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
