Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
