He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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