we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
