Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
