I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
