Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am available for nakedness
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
