And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
