just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
