how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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