He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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