dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
