he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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