you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
