We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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