Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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