remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize