i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
