i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
