Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
