love makes seman taste better
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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