he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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