You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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