I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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