WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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