You kept calling me your small dog last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
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She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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