you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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