I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
