just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
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I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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