He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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