ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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