Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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