i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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