saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize