Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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