hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
