...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize