yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
