I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
