so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
