we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
