Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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