We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Text me some of your sweat
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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