Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
