my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
