what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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