I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
