If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
