Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sober January is a disaster.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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