Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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