i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
