I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's shark week go big or go home
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
