I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
