physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
